Stonehaven

Stonehaven is apparently a picturesque old fishing village 15 miles south of the oil capital of Europe, Aberdeen. It is in fact a grotty cesspit infested with seagulls and seagull shit.

Stonehaven is the worst type of Scottish town, full of the 21st Century type of caveman, a drinking, fighting, takeaway eating, womanising, craptacular asshole. It may be useful at this point to point out that Stonehaven was once in the Guiness Book of Records as the town with the most pubs per head of population. In Stonehaven this is something to be proud of. Worst health in Europe? Us?

Stonehaven is a breeding ground for every pathetic little prejudice going: racism, bigotry, sexism, homophobia. You name it, Stonehaven’s proud of it. Please print this to let all know of this vile little haven of all that is wrong with Scotland.

Malcolm Petrie