Peterborough

Pros: attractive cathedral, nice boat pub.
Cons: indigenous population of devil-worshipping Nazis

There are some who will only ever know Peterborough as a convenient train-link to London or the north. Others will only have driven through, glancing at the Toblerone-shaped Pizza Hut building on the outskirts. Those so inclined may even have visited it during �Truckfest� rallies held annually at the East of England Show-ground. These people are the lucky ones.
As well as being perhaps the most culturally stagnant city of its size in the UK – the local Key Theatre rarely deviating from farces starring an array of stars from �Emmerdale� or �Corrie� while the local multiplex will routinely jettison quality releases in favour of an extra screen for �American Pie 2� � Peterborough is dominated by a populace with the political instincts of a lynch mob.

Though ostensibly a New Labour marginal since 1997, few cities are in fact more reactionary. The local Council Tory leader, effectively an East Anglian Jean Marie Le Pen with an IQ in single figures was recently elected �Personality of the Year� by readers of the local �Daily Mail�-like rag, whilst pop figures Andy Bell (who grew up in the city) and Paul Heaton have publicly lambasted the city for its bigotry.

Redeeming features? There are some. �Charters� the marine pub, is a fine one, never really needing the �Pub of the Year 1994� banner which it sported for nigh on seven years. The 10th Century Cathedral is also indeed very nice, but even this was recently victim to the city�s escalating crime rate and is recovering from fire-damage. The yobs of today�s city are more pernicious even than Cromwell�s 17th century hordes.

Chris Hallam