The Idler

Why do fools fall in love and other questions

Gavin Pretor-Pinney asks the oft-put conundrum.

In 1956 Frankie Lymon, aged only 13, sang ‘Why do Fools Fall in Love? He wanted an answer to this question, but instead he got a Top 10 hit and became the first black artist to sell a million records. All Frankie really wanted was for someone to shed some light on this and the other perplexing questions he raised in the song. Why do birds sing so gay? Why do lovers await the break of day? Why does the rain fall from up above? Why do fools fall in love? By the age of 20, clearly frustrated by not getting any answers, Frankie had ended up a washed-up has-been whose only gigs were nostalgia shows. Seven years later he died of a drugs overdose.

Frankie was only the first in a line of performers who, in doing covers of his song, vainly attempted to get to the bottom of these conundrums. Like Frankie, they were so upset that no one was prepared to sit them down and go through some basic explanations, that they felt the need to stand in front of tens of thousands and belt the questions out at the top of his voices. Are the birds singing to attract a mate or is it more a case of them demarcating their territory? wondered The Beach Boys when they did a cover in 1964. Why does the moisture in the air just decide to form into drops and fall as rain? And what the fuck are clouds? pondered Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Unbelievably, as late as 1981, Diana Ross was still asking if there was anyone out there who knew if the reason young lovers were eager for daybreak was so they could once again gaze deep into each other’s eyes and see the passion that would drive the procreation of their genes and hence their immortality. Diana Ross ended up with a huge chart hit with the cover and with it an equally huge financial success. But did she get any answer as to why fools fall in love? No she didn’t.

Whilst I am tragically too late for poor Frankie Lymon, I want to help the others by finally providing some serious answers.

Why Do Birds Sing So Gay?
Most birdsong is produced by the males. Like all males, they are primarily concerned with having fights and getting their end away. Most birds, but by no means all, concentrate their singing around the breeding season. They are singing to pick up birds. And once they’ve picked them up, they are singing to keep them.
‘But wait a minute, many species of birds are monogamous!’ I hear Frankie Valli shouting. Yes Frankie, they are. But the mortality rate, especially amongst small birds, is so high that they have to keep their pulling skills up to scratch because, tragically, they never know when they will have to use them again.
Telling other birds of the same species to get offa their cloud is the other main reason for birdsong. ‘Look, this is our patch buddy. We eat the little berries and insects and shit here. So back off, OK.’ That sort of thing.
‘But no explanation of why their singing is so gay?’ Alright Brian Wilson, fair point. If we take gay not to mean homo, then it is simply a question of why we like the sound of birdsong. Like the sunset is for our vision, birdsong is for our ears a beautiful reminder of the shiva dance of nature, of which we are all but a part. It humbles us and makes us put our concerns of getting the Interim Competitor’s Market Report written up for our boss by the end of the week into the pathetic perspective that it deserves to be. Hence birdsong is gay.

Why Do Lovers Await the Break of Day?
Firstly, I’m not really sure that they do. I would have thought that these lovers like quite liked cuddling up in their duvet, a womb-like haven, and turning their naked backs to the onset of the day and all its attendant concerns. Nevertheless, with Frankie Lymon in mind, I accept that mine is not to question why, mine is to answer questions why.
Firstly, if one of the lovers is a heavy snorer then I can understand that the other might be quite keen for the onset of daybreak. Seeing your loved-one in such an undignified state of snorting can only make one question the whole relationship. But if indeed they are so lovey-duvy, then I would have thought that he would love her whether she was a heavy snorer or not.
Secondly, daybreak brings with it the promise of sex-in-the-afternoon, which, since everyone else is out doing sensible stuff, is more fun than sex-at-night.

Why Does the Rain Fall from Up Above?
Like pretty much the vast majority of natural phenomena on earth, rain is dependent on the influence of the sun. When the sun warms up seas, lakes, rivers and glasses of gin and tonic it causes water to evaporate which is absorbed by the adjacent air as invisible water vapour. In cases where air higher up in the atmosphere is cooler, the warm, vapour laden, air near the ground rises (because warm air is more spaced out, and so lighter). Now, the warmer that air is, the more water moisture it can hold. So as the vapour-laden air starts coming into contact with the cold air, it starts cooling down and shedding its water into tiny droplets. This mist of water droplets appears as a cloud.
‘If they are full of water, why do the clouds stay up in the sky?’ I hear Diana Ross ask. The droplets are held up in the air by the other rising air below it. But if the individual droplets in the cloud start forming into big enough drops, gravity takes hold and makes them begin to fall back to earth, in spite of the rising air. Just as you spotted, Diana, what is so beautiful about rain is that it is, quite simply, falling clouds, returning to the earth from whence they came.

Why Do Fools Fall In Love?
I don’t claim to know everything. This, alas, I do not know.

If you have any philosophical or scientific dilemmas derived from the lyrics of popular music that you would like help with, just write to me at gavin@idler.co.uk and I’ll do my best to answer.

Gavin Pretor-Pinney asks the oft-put conundrum.

In 1956 Frankie Lymon, aged only 13, sang ‘Why do Fools Fall in Love? He wanted an answer to this question, but instead he got a Top 10 hit and became the first black artist to sell a million records. All Frankie really wanted was for someone to shed some light on this and the other perplexing questions he raised in the song. Why do birds sing so gay? Why do lovers await the break of day? Why does the rain fall from up above? Why do fools fall in love? By the age of 20, clearly frustrated by not getting any answers, Frankie had ended up a washed-up has-been whose only gigs were nostalgia shows. Seven years later he died of a drugs overdose.

Frankie was only the first in a line of performers who, in doing covers of his song, vainly attempted to get to the bottom of these conundrums. Like Frankie, they were so upset that no one was prepared to sit them down and go through some basic explanations, that they felt the need to stand in front of tens of thousands and belt the questions out at the top of his voices. Are the birds singing to attract a mate or is it more a case of them demarcating their territory? wondered The Beach Boys when they did a cover in 1964. Why does the moisture in the air just decide to form into drops and fall as rain? And what the fuck are clouds? pondered Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Unbelievably, as late as 1981, Diana Ross was still asking if there was anyone out there who knew if the reason young lovers were eager for daybreak was so they could once again gaze deep into each other’s eyes and see the passion that would drive the procreation of their genes and hence their immortality. Diana Ross ended up with a huge chart hit with the cover and with it an equally huge financial success. But did she get any answer as to why fools fall in love? No she didn’t.

Whilst I am tragically too late for poor Frankie Lymon, I want to help the others by finally providing some serious answers.

Why Do Birds Sing So Gay?
Most birdsong is produced by the males. Like all males, they are primarily concerned with having fights and getting their end away. Most birds, but by no means all, concentrate their singing around the breeding season. They are singing to pick up birds. And once they’ve picked them up, they are singing to keep them.
‘But wait a minute, many species of birds are monogamous!’ I hear Frankie Valli shouting. Yes Frankie, they are. But the mortality rate, especially amongst small birds, is so high that they have to keep their pulling skills up to scratch because, tragically, they never know when they will have to use them again.
Telling other birds of the same species to get offa their cloud is the other main reason for birdsong. ‘Look, this is our patch buddy. We eat the little berries and insects and shit here. So back off, OK.’ That sort of thing.
‘But no explanation of why their singing is so gay?’ Alright Brian Wilson, fair point. If we take gay not to mean homo, then it is simply a question of why we like the sound of birdsong. Like the sunset is for our vision, birdsong is for our ears a beautiful reminder of the shiva dance of nature, of which we are all but a part. It humbles us and makes us put our concerns of getting the Interim Competitor’s Market Report written up for our boss by the end of the week into the pathetic perspective that it deserves to be. Hence birdsong is gay.

Why Do Lovers Await the Break of Day?
Firstly, I’m not really sure that they do. I would have thought that these lovers like quite liked cuddling up in their duvet, a womb-like haven, and turning their naked backs to the onset of the day and all its attendant concerns. Nevertheless, with Frankie Lymon in mind, I accept that mine is not to question why, mine is to answer questions why.
Firstly, if one of the lovers is a heavy snorer then I can understand that the other might be quite keen for the onset of daybreak. Seeing your loved-one in such an undignified state of snorting can only make one question the whole relationship. But if indeed they are so lovey-duvy, then I would have thought that he would love her whether she was a heavy snorer or not.
Secondly, daybreak brings with it the promise of sex-in-the-afternoon, which, since everyone else is out doing sensible stuff, is more fun than sex-at-night.

Why Does the Rain Fall from Up Above?
Like pretty much the vast majority of natural phenomena on earth, rain is dependent on the influence of the sun. When the sun warms up seas, lakes, rivers and glasses of gin and tonic it causes water to evaporate which is absorbed by the adjacent air as invisible water vapour. In cases where air higher up in the atmosphere is cooler, the warm, vapour laden, air near the ground rises (because warm air is more spaced out, and so lighter). Now, the warmer that air is, the more water moisture it can hold. So as the vapour-laden air starts coming into contact with the cold air, it starts cooling down and shedding its water into tiny droplets. This mist of water droplets appears as a cloud.
‘If they are full of water, why do the clouds stay up in the sky?’ I hear Diana Ross ask. The droplets are held up in the air by the other rising air below it. But if the individual droplets in the cloud start forming into big enough drops, gravity takes hold and makes them begin to fall back to earth, in spite of the rising air. Just as you spotted, Diana, what is so beautiful about rain is that it is, quite simply, falling clouds, returning to the earth from whence they came.

Why Do Fools Fall In Love?
I don’t claim to know everything. This, alas, I do not know.

If you have any philosophical or scientific dilemmas derived from the lyrics of popular music that you would like help with, just write to me at gavin@idler.co.uk and I’ll do my best to answer.