The Idler

URI GELLER SOLVES HISTORY’S GREATEST MYSTERIES: 4

How do Crop Circles appear?

The majority are witless hoaxes, and experienced circle-hunters can spot them immediately. The stalks are crushed, there are footprints and even cigarette butts, and the shapes are clumsy. This isn’t scepticism – it is vandalism.

True circles are different. The stalks are weighed down, not snapped. The geometry is perfect, and the energy that bristles inside the formation can often be measured on traditional electronic equipment – it also causes many cameras and camcorders to fail. I once experimented by bending a spoon in a Wiltshire circle, and the bowl almost exploded from the handle.

Many witnesses say strange lights seem to hover over the fields, emitting a loud drone as the circles are created. This has been observed for at least 350 years, according to a pamphlet published in Civil War times, and this year circles have been found in remote Canadian wheat fields and Japanese Zen gardens. There’s good reason to suppose crop circles are a natural phenomena… except for their increasing complexity. Natural forces cannot draw windmills and Mandlebrot sets, seashell whorls and religious symbols. I am forced to the conclusion that something intelligent sometimes wields Earth’s energies. Whether that intelligence is humanity’s, or the planets, or belongs to something beyond the planet – I have not yet decided.

How do Crop Circles appear?

The majority are witless hoaxes, and experienced circle-hunters can spot them immediately. The stalks are crushed, there are footprints and even cigarette butts, and the shapes are clumsy. This isn’t scepticism – it is vandalism.

True circles are different. The stalks are weighed down, not snapped. The geometry is perfect, and the energy that bristles inside the formation can often be measured on traditional electronic equipment – it also causes many cameras and camcorders to fail. I once experimented by bending a spoon in a Wiltshire circle, and the bowl almost exploded from the handle.

Many witnesses say strange lights seem to hover over the fields, emitting a loud drone as the circles are created. This has been observed for at least 350 years, according to a pamphlet published in Civil War times, and this year circles have been found in remote Canadian wheat fields and Japanese Zen gardens. There’s good reason to suppose crop circles are a natural phenomena… except for their increasing complexity. Natural forces cannot draw windmills and Mandlebrot sets, seashell whorls and religious symbols. I am forced to the conclusion that something intelligent sometimes wields Earth’s energies. Whether that intelligence is humanity’s, or the planets, or belongs to something beyond the planet – I have not yet decided.