SKIVE Planner
MONDAY
Has the advantage of prolonging Sunday and, by extension, the sins of the weekend. Also, has the knock on perk of alleviating Friday - your work clock has been tocking all week, then it suddenly ticks, you mistake Friday for Thursday and the weekend lies suddenly, unexpectedly naked before you. But Monday also has its disadvantages. By lumping a skive day on the tail of the weekend, you are left with four consecutive work days ahead of you, shuffling and laborious. If the week goes down as badly as a Fundamentlist Christian with a brace, you can’t pull out and spare yourself the grating agony.
TUESDAY
Skive here and you can restart your week. The most common cause of the Tuesday skive is a spontaneous, defiant binge on Monday night. You can’t resist misbehaving on Monday night, just when you should be hunkering down for a week of senseless bludgeoning of the soul. A Tuesday off is the most rebellious of gestures. A new week has just begun and already you have decided to sod off. While some of you may contend that Tuesday is too premature for a sicky, surely it is actually a real show of power. Employers expect Friday to be lost to fatigue and boozy lunches, but Tuesday is sacrosanct. Take it back and it will show you are not to be trifled with. I am writing this in the midst of a Tuesday skive, so you’ll have to excuse me if I appear partisan.
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday is the most liberal day to throw a sicky. It seems a most reasonable proposition to sit on the fence of the week. As the halfway point, it affords even contemplation of the days behind and before you. Sometimes, the very idea of working through the whole of Wednesday is unbearable. Shops used to shut for Wednesday afternoon - the law decreed that workers should spend that afternoon grieving the loss of freedom and bemoan the lot of a soul stuck between the rock of Monday/ Tuesday and the hard place of Thursday/ Friday. Wednesday is a a funeral day, dour, your life begins to sag in the middle so you must go out and alleviate the dolour with the sugary rush of shopping.
THURSDAY/FRIDAY
These two days have to be considered as a block. If you take Thursday off then you have to take at least half of Friday off as well. To confine your skive to Thursday is to condemn yourself to an entire Friday regretting the premature curtailment of your skive. Thursday is the favourite for many: it is generally held that throwing a sicky on Friday is a waste of time unless you are the type of person who goes away for long weekends - in which case you are the boss anyway. Friday is about clock watching, illicit drinking, long phone calls planning the weekend. You might as well show up to work and get the brownie points in. Always try to look very busy on a Friday, it pisses everyone else off.
MONDAY
Has the advantage of prolonging Sunday and, by extension, the sins of the weekend. Also, has the knock on perk of alleviating Friday - your work clock has been tocking all week, then it suddenly ticks, you mistake Friday for Thursday and the weekend lies suddenly, unexpectedly naked before you. But Monday also has its disadvantages. By lumping a skive day on the tail of the weekend, you are left with four consecutive work days ahead of you, shuffling and laborious. If the week goes down as badly as a Fundamentlist Christian with a brace, you can’t pull out and spare yourself the grating agony.
TUESDAY
Skive here and you can restart your week. The most common cause of the Tuesday skive is a spontaneous, defiant binge on Monday night. You can’t resist misbehaving on Monday night, just when you should be hunkering down for a week of senseless bludgeoning of the soul. A Tuesday off is the most rebellious of gestures. A new week has just begun and already you have decided to sod off. While some of you may contend that Tuesday is too premature for a sicky, surely it is actually a real show of power. Employers expect Friday to be lost to fatigue and boozy lunches, but Tuesday is sacrosanct. Take it back and it will show you are not to be trifled with. I am writing this in the midst of a Tuesday skive, so you’ll have to excuse me if I appear partisan.
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday is the most liberal day to throw a sicky. It seems a most reasonable proposition to sit on the fence of the week. As the halfway point, it affords even contemplation of the days behind and before you. Sometimes, the very idea of working through the whole of Wednesday is unbearable. Shops used to shut for Wednesday afternoon - the law decreed that workers should spend that afternoon grieving the loss of freedom and bemoan the lot of a soul stuck between the rock of Monday/ Tuesday and the hard place of Thursday/ Friday. Wednesday is a a funeral day, dour, your life begins to sag in the middle so you must go out and alleviate the dolour with the sugary rush of shopping.
THURSDAY/FRIDAY
These two days have to be considered as a block. If you take Thursday off then you have to take at least half of Friday off as well. To confine your skive to Thursday is to condemn yourself to an entire Friday regretting the premature curtailment of your skive. Thursday is the favourite for many: it is generally held that throwing a sicky on Friday is a waste of time unless you are the type of person who goes away for long weekends - in which case you are the boss anyway. Friday is about clock watching, illicit drinking, long phone calls planning the weekend. You might as well show up to work and get the brownie points in. Always try to look very busy on a Friday, it pisses everyone else off.
"I do nothing and then I do something. But it's taken years of investigating idleness in all its forms to be able to achieve this. My discipline is borne out of concerted study of idleness."