Adam and Joe’s Official guidelines for Ownership of Lighters
Class ‘A’: Transparent Plastic and Mini Disposables
Do not become attached to these lighters. Despite their Tardis-like capacity and longevity they belong to whoever picks them up. You do not have a case for holding on to a CLASS ‘A’ lighter. “Have you got my lighter?” – I’ve got the lighter, you tight goink.
CLASS ‘B’: Disposables featuring a design (polkadots, stripes, ‘Dickin’s Bar – Thaxos’, World Cup Football Players, Naked Ladies, Clive Gibbons from Neighbours etc.)
There is a case for a CLASS ‘B’ lighter having sentimental value. It is rather a sad case, though, so think hard before saying, ‘Have you got my lighter?’
CLASS ‘C’: Refillable & Novelty Items (Zippos, Guns, Phones, Cougars with red eyes, Cars, Naked Ladies etc.)
Refillability = Commitment. Refillability + Novelty = Long Term Commitment. Despite the fact that these seldom refill satisfactorily (“Oooh! My thumb’s gone all frosty”) and are easily lost, the CLASS ‘C’ lighter should not be stolen. If found, please return to owner.
CLASS ‘D’: Posh Lighters (Cartiers, Long Golden Cylinders, Marble Blocks, Anything on a big leather topped desk)
What the hell are you doing spending that much on a lighter? Are you the head of an evil conglomerate? You are not. You are playing “Summer of ’69″ by Bryan Adams in your open topped Jag on the King’s Road. “Have you got my lighter?” – No, I don’t have any Charlie.
Class ‘A’: Transparent Plastic and Mini Disposables
Do not become attached to these lighters. Despite their Tardis-like capacity and longevity they belong to whoever picks them up. You do not have a case for holding on to a CLASS ‘A’ lighter. “Have you got my lighter?” – I’ve got the lighter, you tight goink.
CLASS ‘B’: Disposables featuring a design (polkadots, stripes, ‘Dickin’s Bar – Thaxos’, World Cup Football Players, Naked Ladies, Clive Gibbons from Neighbours etc.)
There is a case for a CLASS ‘B’ lighter having sentimental value. It is rather a sad case, though, so think hard before saying, ‘Have you got my lighter?’
CLASS ‘C’: Refillable & Novelty Items (Zippos, Guns, Phones, Cougars with red eyes, Cars, Naked Ladies etc.)
Refillability = Commitment. Refillability + Novelty = Long Term Commitment. Despite the fact that these seldom refill satisfactorily (“Oooh! My thumb’s gone all frosty”) and are easily lost, the CLASS ‘C’ lighter should not be stolen. If found, please return to owner.
CLASS ‘D’: Posh Lighters (Cartiers, Long Golden Cylinders, Marble Blocks, Anything on a big leather topped desk)
What the hell are you doing spending that much on a lighter? Are you the head of an evil conglomerate? You are not. You are playing “Summer of ’69″ by Bryan Adams in your open topped Jag on the King’s Road. “Have you got my lighter?” – No, I don’t have any Charlie.
"For Jerome, idleness had little in common with laziness. His notion of idleness in the world beyond his fiction was one of contemplative productivity with the minimum of fuss."