The Idler

18 YEARS WITHOUT A BATH

30 July 2005

Police in Berlin were called to investigate the presence of a “caveman” living in an abandoned apartment. A chimneysweep discovered the squatter, who was lying in a blocked-off fireplace in order to keep warm.

The hermit, identified only as Mario, had neglected to take a bath or shave for the past 18 years. He also admitted that he hadn’t changed his clothes since New Years Day 2001.

‘I saw what I thought was a pile of dirty laundry in a corner until I realised it was an incredibly filthy man,’ the ‘sweep told police.

‘When we got there we found the subject as described,’ officer Toralf Reinhardt told one Berlin newspaper. ‘He was cowering and shivering with fear like a cornered animal. It was like entering some wild creature’s burrow. The stench was over-powering.’

Mario was placed in a hospital for medical observation.

‘We had to call in a team of industrial cleaners to get the odour out of the police car and the cell afterward,’ Reinhardt said.