The no-job family
One of the very worst things that the Labour Government has done to this country is to encourage the rise of the two-job family. Labour (I suppose there’s a clue in the title) promoted an unpleasant Presbyterian work ethic and invented the chilling phrase “hard-working families”. We used to be slightly embarrassed at having been labelled a nation of shopkeepers, but that was surely a far superior state of affairs to the current set-up: a nation of slaves. At least the shopkeeper had his own shop and therefore some degree of autonomy. Now, thanks to the giant retailers, the independent shop is a dying institution.
For heaven’s sake, the one-job family was bad enough. It was hard work for the wife to run the household in the absence of the husband. But at least there was someone to do it. To impose two jobs on the family is nothing short of criminal. How can life be enjoyed when both parents are fully employed? Where is the time for fun and frolics and simply hanging around when weekends are taken up with shopping and bill-paying?
Instead, every idle parent should be heading towards the no-job family, by which I mean some kind of creative self-employment.
The two-slave family has led to a restriction on the free time of children. I heard some awful idiot on the radio the other day promoting the idea of shorter summer holidays. Apparently children forget what they have been taught over the long summer break. There is also talk of extending the school day. What kind of criminal lunacy is this?
The holidays are too short, not too long. Do we really want to condemn first ourselves and now our children to a lifetime of containment and toil? Does hard-working families mean hard-working children as well? What happened to play?
Now, I am in no way opposed to women working. Of course not. I was brought up by a feminist mother and, being a lazy father, I am delighted when women earn money because that should mean less work for the husband. But when does work become slavery rather than liberation? As GK Chesterton quipped: “I meet women who say they won’t be dictated to and then go and get a job as a stenographer.” I think one good solution is for both parents to work part-time. Three days a week each should add up to slightly more than one full-time salary, and leads to both parents being able to lie around at home with the kids for four days each week.
What I am opposed to is the situation where both parents are working long hours in stressful jobs for meagre compensation, particularly when the children are small. This means they have to pay for expensive child care so that someone else can play with their children while they are toiling in the slave mills. And it leads to absurdly costly and busy lives, filled with dropping off and picking up. “When does one live?” as the chronically lazy Oblomov asks of the busy life in that wonderful 19th century portrait of a slacker.
And even with all this full-time child care, the parents still have to “do” the nights and the bedtimes and the mornings. The full-time job also pretty much prevents the taking of a life-saving nap and both parents end up tired, angry and stretched. And probably in debt. Bring on the credit crunch and high oil prices, say I: less debt equals less work and less driving around equals more freedom.
Unfortunately, we are all so conditioned by the idea that we need a lot of money that no one can see their way through to quitting the job. The truth is, however, that the non-working life – using work in its conventional sense to mean full-time employment – is far cheaper than the working life. There are no costs. No coffees. No sandwiches. No work clothes. No drinks after work with colleagues you don’t even like. All that wasted money! The stay-at-home self-employed or part-time person, I calculate, can live better than the wage slave on half the former salary. And you can nap every day.
Bring back the cottage industry, bring back home-based work, for man and woman. And bring back the Sabbath. What a good idea that was. Sunday really should be a day of rest. No lawn-mowing, no reading of anxiety-inducing newspapers, no emailing, no shopping, no driving around.
Instead of spending £10 on petrol, buy a really good bottle of wine and stay at home. Feast and drink, play music and play games, and lie on the floor and let your children tumble over you.
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Well it’s been a year since my wife and I deliberately jacked in our ‘professional’ careers and we haven’t looked back since. I’m now a self employed engineering consultant working on average of 16 hours a week when I feel like it, and she loves just being a full time mum of three. We earn about half of what we did, but haven’t missed the money once we stopped wasting it on stuff we didn’t need or really want.
I sold my car which saved more than you would think, and as I’m in no hurry to do anything anymore I just take the train, bus, taxi or bike. (I don’t know why people complain about these services they all work just fine from my experience, I think most people forget how often they are delayed in traffic jams so kid themselves they are getting places quicker.)
Anyway, my children are a lot happier, and I’m a lot happier. I now have the time and energy to devote myself to them as unique and special people in their own right, not just cloned fodder for the utilitarian economy. I teach then philosophy, politically incorrect history, naughty jokes, natural science, music and, dare I say it,just being happy. I make it my mission to un-school the crap dumped on them by our so called ‘education system’ and that puritanical work ethic of idiots adopted from across the pond.
I can’t explain the joy of being with your own children over the entire summer holiday, getting up late, going to bed late, cooking and eating together. This year in six weeks we built a chicken coop, went camping, fished all over the place, played football, flew kites, layabout in hammocks when it was hot, built a Koi pond, took the dog for long walks and picnicked ourselves at every available moment.
Our neighbours think were a bit odd, but I just wave on sunny mornings while still dressed in my jammies as they drag their suited, BMW driving, existences off for some more indebted servitude.
I estimate I have only 2000 odd weeks of life left, and half of that will be when I’m too old to make the most of it. I for one am going to live now, not when I retire. When I do pop off this mortal coil, at least I will have known my children and they will have known me.
From my experience freedom is yours to grasp, you just have to swallow a brave pill and let go. It was scary at first, and I wondered if I would fall flat on my face, but soon you realise the fear is imaginary, put out there by institutionalised wage slaves that don’t deserve any fun for their cowardice.
Timely, reassuing and inspiring advice. Have just given up my job for all the same reasons. Don’t know what comes next but willing to risk it!
Bimble you are exactly where I want our family to be. I have given up my job to be a stay at home mother but my partner works full time. I am to now start a business that eventurally my partner can give up his job and both of us work part-time when it suits us. I love you talking about your life and how to spend your summer with your kids and how they benefit from your life & wisdom. You are right about knowing how much weeks we have left in our life and how we must spend that doing the things we value the most and stuff is not one of those things.
you are really inspiring me and some day soon my partner will give up his job and we will too have the life that you have. Well done.
Also well done steve on giving up your job.
Any tips for a single mom wanting the idle life?
Yes, I’d like an answer to Jaime’s question too, please.
It’s all very well when you have someone else paying the bills and letting you pack it all in for a life of loafing about with the offspring but what is one to do when one is the sole bread-winner? Or is idleness the preserve of coupledom only?
hi me and my gf have 2 children and have never worked.
Our life is fine. we have lots of fun, some hard times money wise now and again, but never anything awfull
everyone else hates us because they work and we dont.
but thats our choice and i think its the better choice!
thanks chris
What a relief to read your article! This is my ultimate goal, to stay at home and be a good mum, not a door mat nor an incompetant who isnt capable of running my home and my career.
Simply put, our mum was their for us and I want to the same for my children too. She still says she has never regretted not working whilst we were at school back in the 80′s and 90′s. In my eyes she did a wonderful job, the pantry was always full of delicious cakes and things, all our meal were cooked from scratch every night, our home was clean and tidy and best of all very creative. My mum not only enjoyed making things for our house but was able to save money and put her creative skills to good use. In her eyes there is enormous pleasure in making your home beautiful by your own hand (and the little hands too from time to time) not just sucking up some shops wily fashion fix! I also love my mum for always being there when we came home from school with cups of tea, hugs and homework help.
Regarding earning dad, well he loved it too- home is where your heart is!
Oh the liberation. I am emailing a link immediately to all the less than two income families I know! Oh to see your life, and justification, in print!
I am a single mother and manage on one source of income (and maintenance). I will be a student again soon, after this I will become a teacher (in Austria) meaning that I can work just 10 hours a week (Monday and Tuesday) and have 13 weeks off a year.
I was pleased to read that I am not the only person with these thoughts.
Thank you, Tom Hodgekinson for “The Idle Parent”
Hey Bimble.You must be earning as good wack for your 16 hours if your still living around suited BMW driving wage slaves.Still good on you mate..it beats the lousy 9 to 5 any day of the week!
It is really fantastic to hear that there are so many people embracing their freedom and enjoying the Idle books. I have to say I am a total closet fan as most people I know do not seem to be able to open themselves to such ideologies, I have tried to lend my copies of How to be Free and How to be Idle but they just hand them back saying ‘ooh, its about a lazy guy eh?” haha..well, maybe but I love them dearly and have also quit my fulltime job to be with my darling baby son, I finally understand that to sell my time to others is to rob myself and my family of our time together.I actually earn the same as I did before working as a private tutor rather than a teacher, and don’t have to put up with all the bullshit that goes with the profession! We are working on my husband working parttime too like others, so that he can be free of employer oppression. Viva La Idler!
I find working much easier than full time parenting. I don’t know what I do wrong but my one year old just plainly refuses to do the housework while I lie on the sofa and drink wine.
Chris, I think you have missed the point. And I would guess “everyone hates you” because they have to provide for you, your partner and kids, something you could never do.
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My wife and I have both been working 3 days a week since 1996 when our first son was born. Our eldest is just about to turn 14 and our second son in just about to turn 12. Both of them have enjoyed having us around to look after them through all their growing years. We too have loved every minute of it. We have not felt one little bit deprived of any of the things that money can buy. We have payed off the mortgage without any difficulty and haven’t missed out on any of the good things in life.
Our kids love the local libraries and reading is the family’s greatest pass-time. Also gardening. We have a wonderful back yard and our youngest is a keen gardener. We grown our own vegies and this year the lawn is coming out and the whole back yard will become a vegetable garden.
Our holidays are mostly camping holidays, (they make great memories for kids). Also we visit our uncle in the far north tropics of Australia (we live in Melbourne). He has a large 3 bedroom home with a pool and loves the company. Free accommodation and great neighbourhood company every night at George’s Good Sports Bar.
I am an keen idler. My background is Greek and I lived in Greece for seven years as a child. The easy living attitude of the Mediterranean soul is hard to beat. I remember even as a child dreading the thought of working my whole life. My ambition now is to retire at around 50 (three years away) and to have less things in 20 years than I have now.