The Idler

Truro

04 August 2005

I live there. Its the ultimate boring, ugliest place on earth. People walk a centimetre an hour in town, two people take up the whole walkway. There’s interbreeding, we have the most ugliest people here because of it.

Cornish gits look at u like you’re a scraggled cat or worse. They’re fat and probably eat their own children.

I think you should mark every town in Cornwall, especially Redruth.

(don’t go there dude)

Paul Clarkson

IS THIS A FORM OF IRONY?

Truro’s not THAT bad really, I mean - it’s got a Monsoon AND a Woolworth’s, what more do you need? And its night life ain’t too bad either - there’s a Chicago Rock Cafe (live bands on a Wednesday! They had a Bee Gees cover band once). Monday’s can be quite fun at the alternative club, - that is so long as you like dancing with everyone you’ve ever met since you were born.

It’s also got hills and pavements, and they’ve just redesigned part of the town centre so it looks like an orange concrete block - - - what more could one ask for?

Chloe Thomas

INBREEDING JOKES A WAY OF LIFE

I’m not sure I can agree with Paul or Chloe. Being Cornish, inbreeding jokes are a way of life, but I’ve seen people in Woolworths in Tooting Broadway that look like they were dragged from the womb too early.

Everyone in a rural town walks slowly; it comes from
lacking the self-importance & frustration that city dwellers have that all transport and indeed Time itself is against them.

And I’ve met more provincially-minded people since living in London (look of horror: “tap water?”. “Nothing worth doing happens outside the M25″) than I ever did in Cornwall.

My mother’s habit of getting us to the bus-stop ‘in time’ to catch one of the two buses that ran per hour meant we’d get there early enough to see the other one pull away; but as a consequence I am never late.

A Londoner friend of mine didn’t even see the appeal of the highlands of Scotland, merely commenting that you “can’t see the landmarks for the trees” (from the safety of our car
whizzing past them at 70mph) and that “you could come up here and make a killing with land prices and building on it.”

The defence rests. Cornwall is a beautiful place.

Ellie Struth