Stevenage
04 August 2005
I wrote to the local paper complaining that the town centre is full of drunk yobs and slappers whose main interest is pissing up the wall of Barclays Bank after an evening getting wankered on Bacardi Breezers in the wittily-named Cobarna (hardy har-har). I went on to say that the town has a range of shops that would be considered poor in downtown Minsk.
A lady replied to my letter, calling me a snob and saying “not everyone wants cappuccinos and smoked salmon sandwiches – some of us are happy with a cuppa and a bacon sandwich.”
All liberally sprinkled with rat poison, one hopes.
Clair Woodward
"I do nothing and then I do something. But it's taken years of investigating idleness in all its forms to be able to achieve this. My discipline is borne out of concerted study of idleness."