The Idler

Southport

04 August 2005

Amenities:
Southport Zoo – home to dead animals
Old People
Southport Beach, no sea, just a beach that goes out for miles…and miles
A yearly flower show
Southport Fair, clapped out rides
Southport Women, clapped out rides
Red Rum was stabled here till he died
Alan Hansen lives here
so do many other old Liverpool football players

Resume:

When Morrisey wrote “Every day is like Sunday”, you get the
feeling that he had just spent the afternoon in Southport. What better place to suggest a nuclear war.

The residents are by and large retired old folk, who live in the old Victorian mansions that have since been turned into nursing
homes.

People do still come and have a holiday in Southport, in nasty little caravans dotted along the coast, battered by the wind. They amuse themselves seeing dead and decaying animals in the zoo and marvel that Red Rum also retired here, just like everybody else from Liverpoool.

Simon