The Idler

Airdrie

Situated in the heart of post-Industrial Lanarkshire Airdrie is famous for two things: Alchohol consumption and football hooligans.

The drink of Airdrie is Buckfast, a 12% proof tonic wine created in Devon by the Monks of Buckfast abbey. When Local MP Helen Liddell campaigned against it, its sale rocketed by 200%. Airdrie now, along with neighbours Coatbridge, accounts for 80% of worldwide Buckfast sales.

Airdrie’s sport is football hooliganism, with the notorious Section B. You may remember that minor league Scottish game when the supporters of a club about to go out of business came on the park, broke the crossbar and had the game abandoned. That was the Section B.

For nightlife you cant beat Airdrie’s premier �Nite Klub� (sic) the “Double A”. With only fluorescent lights (no other ones) and flashing dance floor, � la Saturday Night Fever, the phrase “Day-Glo Hell” is often thrown in its direction. But local residents are undeterred by this and will be more than happy to help you fit in with the clubs “three scar minimum” dress code.

Culture in Airdrie is colourful to say the least – if by colourful you mean Orange. With the biggest ever Orange Order march held here a few years ago, many a summer evening is filled with the sound of flutes screeching some sectarian ditty. I tend to stay in those weekends. (The Catholics have their Hibs walks as well, just change the sentiment above to Green and you get the idea. I stay in on those weekends as well).

Nothing delights me more than meeting people from new places and have them rip the piss out of me because I come from Airdrie. Nothing delights me more whenever I order a pint and people say “Is that Buckfast or Lager HahAh!”.

And how I delight when my boss says “I told my boyfreind you were from Airdrie, he said to tell you the Section B are a bunch of wanks”

Airdie, crap town.

�Van_Noir�