The Idler

Syringe

I started my career of crap jobs in a syringe needle factory. My task was in quality control, seated next to a conveyor belt carrying needles glued into plastic bases. Dangerously erect, they marched past at a rate of twenty five a second. I was a solitary addition to the conveyor belt with nothing but the grinding of the machinery to keep me company.

Armed with tweezers to extract the faulty syringes, I sat there for eight hours a day sourcing entertainment by deliberately causing pile-ups. I would knock a row of syringes over, and the ensuing row would plough into them sending malicious points in every direction. I consequently left every day covered with tiny punctures. Needless to say, I also spent a good amount of time asleep at my post, resulting in an early dismissal. (2 weeks after arrival.)

My next student holidays were spent working for the city council. They first offfered me a job on the bins. Being a dustman is the hardest thing I have ever done. I actually only lasted one day. After running around in the rain all day carrying rubbish on my shoulder with mushy peas running down my neck, I had done my lot.

Gareth Mealing