The Idler

Seeds of Discontent

Every Summer whilst on holiday from University, my best friend and I used to put up Marquees (see another story in this list) until it became harvest time, where we would sign on as ‘Seed Processors’.

This job involved travelling around to farms in a transit van with a diesel generator in the back, following a lorry with a big machine on the back that processed grain, sorting out the more viable grains to be used as next years seed.

Doesn’t sound too bad does it? However, the job involved standing next to this vibrating machine as lorry after lorry of grain was passed through the machine, coating it in mercury based agrochemicals and emptying the result into 50kg bags through a hopper that would fill at an alarming rate - so it was a constant race against time. You kept going until the job was done, and the machine would not stop until it was all taken care of.

So, on a shitty windswept farm in Lincolnshire for example you would be deafened by noise, wearing a cheap paper mask as you put bag after bag on this hopper, stitched it and lifted it when full. By the end of the job you were covered in shit, chemicals and dust. 50kgs - 8 stone. Heavy. A typical 50-70 ton job would involve 20 bags per ton. 1000-1400 bags. Christ. We would work up to 20 hours per day and seven days a week (at �1 per ton!), then pack up and start driving to the next farm. You got used to sleeping in barns, vans, anywhere. By the end of the season you would have muscles in places you shouldn’t and be totally unable to talk to anyone at all.

The worst incident was bagging 70 tons in the driving rain and darkness under floodlights in Cumbria. A cow that was being passed through the stock yard collapsed and the farmer sent for the vet. He arrived, shot it in the head and then put a metal spike in the hole and wiggled it around to”stir it’s brains up”. There was a river of shit and silage run off passing through the yard at 20 miles per hour and six inches deep.

The Horror.
Tim Roser