Yatton

Yatton is near Bristol, off the A370 on the way to Weston-Super-Mare (which is itself bound to feature on the crapmap sooner or later).

In Yatton, the bones of children do not grow properly. A typical teenager will appear to …

Yarm

Highlight: The Flighty Cod chip shop
Lowlight: Waiting to get served in the Black Bull and then tasting the beer afterwards.

Yarm is the worst sort of town: a whited sepulchre.

Superficially, it appears an attractive market town in the …

Wrexham

Alumni: Tim Vincent, Half of Mansun.
Amenities: Football club, pound shops.

Wrexham is the proud owner of a football club, and nothing else whatsoever, since the brewery closed- it produced Wrexham Lager, “The ONLY Welsh lager”, which, unsurprisingly, was not …

Wolverhampton

The most attractive thing about Wolverhampton was the multi-story car park on School Street, the roof level of which used to offer attractive rural vistas of Staffordshire, Shropshire and the Wrekin. However, the council knocked it down in the 90s. …

Woking

Famous residents: Shakin’ Stevens
Everybody says: “I ain’t being funny or nuffin’”
Amenities: A pond
Entertainment: An old man with Alien Hand Syndrome

The first thing you will notice when you leave Woking train station is a sign which reads …